- Workers’ Compensation
- Time to Adult
- Watch where I’m going!
- Merry Christmas
- The three children
During this holiday season I’ve been thinking about the people who are so angry that they can not say Merry Christmas. I understand the position that one could just be spreading joy of their holiday and even if you don’t celebrate that particular holiday why not just allow the cheer into your heart.
However I’ve started to think about the whole thing in a new way when I read a tweet. I don’t remember the entire tweet, maybe I’ll look it up when I’m finished writing… The point is the person was saying they were in an elevator and a man came in on another floor. With language clues it sounded like the man entering the elevator was a middle aged white man and the author was not. The author explained that when entering the man said something and what an unbelievable jerk he is for saying something. Reading it I thought he’s comment was maybe unneeded but not the assault she made it out to be. Shortly after this I was walking from the train station to the subway. I had my backpack (over stuffed as usual) and a suitcase containing clothes and shoes for me and my lady for three weeks in three different climates. As I struggled to move the large suitcase over the snow and ice covered sidewalks and intersections a middle aged white man approached and said I need snow tires on my bag. At that moment I thought “Thanks, go fuck yourself.” But I immediately realized that had my dad, uncle or really anyone I knew made this “joke” that was not very funny I would have busted their chops for making such an unfunny joke, and maybe even had a laugh at how bad of a joke it was.
Suddenly I realized the woman who’s text I had read was probably meant as a joke, a harmless ice breaker from a slightly socially awkward man. But the intent of a light comment meaning no harm wasn’t seen, only the how dare you talk to me. Maybe if she had said “good joke” or some form of recognizing not only that it was a joke but also a failed joke this could have been an exchange instead of a failed comment lead to a negative tweet.
Maybe because of the holiday season stuff everywhere on the subway I started to think about the implications of all of this. If I were to walk up to a random person and say “happy birthday” they would more then likely would say “it’s not my birthday”. Using this as an example of “that’s not my holiday”, it would be strange if I was annoyed if the people I said “happy birthday” to would just be thankful. Like wise it would be strange if someone full on ran with it and tried to celebrate their birthday … if it wasn’t their birthday. So if a Jesus person were to say “Merry Christmas” to a non Jesus person why should they dive into a Christmas celebration? Going back to the happy birthday example, if someone were to have an entire birthday celebration on, not their birthday most people would find it odd. We give a certain lee way for a weekend before or after or sometime close because of out of town friends of family but a random day would be considered odd.
I understand wanting to spread the joy you’re feeling burring your holiday and I can even understand the resentment one might feel when that joy is met with “that’s not my holiday”. But why can’t we all except we have different birthdays and therefor should let each other celebrate on our own time.
The guy in that tweet, the guy passing me in the street, I really don’t think either of them were actually bad people. I don’t think they said the things that they said as a way to inflict harm on myself of the author of the tweet I read. They’re statements weren’t very funny, they’re statements weren’t timed very well, but they weren’t with malice.
Maybe when the person says “Merry Christmas” they don’t mean to disrespect you or your holiday they just want you to feel the joy they feel with Christmas. And maybe when some says Hanukkah Sameach they aren’t anti Jesus but want to spread their joy. And of course I type this I think should I include other examples? Did I paint one of those in the wrong light? My real hope from this is we can see the difference between not having the exact right vocabulary and having malice.
People today, I think get so over whelmed on how I say, what I say that their language becomes so convoluted that they can not even be heard. And like wise when people listen they are so prone to listen for keywords they they are not paying attention to the over all meaning. Words are just words, all of the context and meaning come from our understanding of them. Regardless of what those words are, the meaning comes from listening to the meaning behind the words. So if someone makes a bad joke, or wishes you well on the wrong holiday or tries to get you to celebrate your birthday on the wrong day, maybe we can all decide to just have fun and enjoy the merriment instead of choosing to be offered that they aren’t completely accurate.
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